“If I was in the army I’d be a sniper”
Easy Mom…
My dad went to a bar with his buddies. He stumbled into my room. He didn’t say anything but,
“Want to do some shots?”
I asked him how many he already had ( Lord knows he did enough shooting with the poor little squirrel outside today).
He took a while to answer (he had to count) and said,
“FOUR!….and 5 beers…and I will KILL you if you tell your mother, But she can’t even tell!”
Nice Dad. It is 5:26 PM.
My Dad saw a squirrel eating seeds from the bird feeder so he shot it! He didn’t kill it and then he went after it with the BB gun (he said the real gun made too much noise and he didn’t want to wake up the neighborhood). I feel so bad! It was just flopping it’s tail around and he killed it! Poor squirrel. All it was trying to do was survive the winter.
My Christmas Donuts for the family!
YES! FINALLY! A big girl job! With big girl pay! I am moving out to Boston! Here I come! Woo Hoo!
The best part about living at home with your parents is when it’s during Christmas and your mom is on the computer all day playing Farmville. Just have a conversation and if you mention something you want you get it under the tree! Much more effective than a wish list (in which she can see the damage) but this way it is just one item a day…
The entire family is home. My mom always gets excited, she says now the family is a SQUARE because there are four of us home. She doesn’t like it when we are only a TRIANGLE because only three of us are home
Yesterday my mom asked if since it was Pearl Harbor Day, was I going to get BOMBED! Inappropriate.
Remember when you would get these at school and would spend the day looking through it to see what you would ask Mom and Dad for?
…which means they will be friends with you. You will eventually see your friends become friends with their parents as well. This gives them the ability to comment on status updates, photos, videos and Farmville status. The comments parents leave are usually embarrassing, but too good to delete.
Thanks Mom and Dad for buying 5 lobsters. I made the BEST lobster bisque. Took 8 hours! Between roasting the bodies to make a stock and reduce it, cooking and cracking the claws and tails, thicken it with a roux, and seasoning with sweet cream sherry…it ended up being purely indulgent.
I was bored about 5 minutes ago…so I decided to try sabering a bottle of Champagne! No idea our house had a sword till my dad brought it up for me from the basement! One swipe and complete success!
Waiting till dinner…for now?
Mini beef Wellington, shrimp cocktail, perogies, jalapeno poppers and stuffed apricots.
My father’s dream turkey…
(Source: nedhepburn)
My mom didn’t want to do a turkey-ON THANKSGIVING! She got two cornish hens for three people. It was sad. For the last three years our Christmas tree made Charlie Brown’s BEFORE tree look spectacular. Our holidays are getting smaller and smaller. I was sad and said I wanted a turkey. Mom caved and we went to get one. The only ones left were 30 pounds! I made Thanksgiving dinner for 12 people last week and we had a 24 lb. turkey that STILL isn’t gone. So we instead got one turkey breast…and also a duck. Yes we have cornish hens, duck and turkey…
…FOR THREE PEOPLE!!!